Tales of the Parodyverse

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ag
Sun Sep 18, 2005 at 10:25:22 am EDT
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Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part #11, Things Keep Spinning! This part is not so rough with lists and packed with action! Maybe you're charicter is in it?
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Previously we saw;
Many alternate Earths were destroyed thanks to the schemes of the Cowled Criminal. Believing himself to be the abandoned son of the Hooded Hood, the Criminal collected several powerful artifacts through out time and used them to bring Anti-Story to the Multiverse. This entropy wave of destruction continued to destroy each universe. All the destruction was ultimately because the Cowled Criminal did not feel love or respect from the man he calls father.
He also captured the Lair Legionnaire known as Yo, fooling him/her into pouring his/her power into certain machines. This added power to the Cowled Criminal’s own retconning abilities. He also recruited various agents to help him in his campaign.
He believes that his downfall could come from Amazing Guy, Jack Rabbit, Swift or Justin Tyme. Because of this belief he set up different ways to defeat each one but three of the four heroes escaped their traps and are now free. Only Swift remains trapped.

Fully aware of the continuing destruction, the Lurker set in motion plans to save as many universes as he could. In his last efforts he used his life energy to create the Neververse. This pocket dimension now contains both the Parodyverse and the Satireverse. A side effect of this is that both universes are slowly merging and time is completely screwed up. When they finish merging they will occupy the same space and destroy each other.

Four agents of the Lurker have marshaled the heroes of the two universes. Humdinger (the woman he saved and raised), Access (his formally evil twin now returned to his original identity), Soothsayer (a man whom has been trapped traveling from dying universe to dying universe with no way to save anyone) and young Greg Dean (the last survivor of Futuristic Peace Earth and a hope to the salvation of the remaining worlds) are the four left in charge of this daring resistance against sure oblivion.
They hope to use the Infinity Pencil to save the remaining Earths. They sent the heroes back to the ParodySatireverse with the hope that they will see the chaos this Crisis has caused and be willing to join up in the coming battle with the Cowled Criminal.

All of this happened in previous chapters of Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses.


Catch up at the Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Web Page!








Night had fallen over Paradopolis/Satireopolis. Some had gone to bed while others had begun their “day”.
The crazy weather ended as soon as the universes entered the Neververse but that did not mean there can not still be storms.
Tonight was an example of one such electrical storm, as booming thunder continued to rattle the city buildings. Lighting lit up the dark places of the cities just as the full moon shone down across the streets.

On Lair Island, just outside Lair Mansion, many figures start to gather. Several wear dark robes and chant evil spells to themselves. A giant swarm of bats swoop down, transforming as they land, into many blood thirsty vampires. Four large packs of werewolves crawl and sprint towards the crowd. A horde of tiny gremlins gathered. Following the small creatures a zombie army lumbered in.
As soon as the last of these creatures had arrived seven figures walked to the front of the large gathering. These were the Vampire Lords, masters of their many houses. Two of them have been seen before; Count Dracu and Count Chompula.
Count Chompula is the first to speak, “My brethren of darkness! I am Count Craladu! Some know me as Count Chompula or Graf Hertzhog. I welcome all of you here!”
“Tell me again…” a female Vampire Lord spoke up, “Just what is all this about?”
“And won’t the mortal heroes try to destroy us?” Another asked.
Count Dracu answered, “The Lair Legion are scattered across both Earths. There is no one left to oppose us. We can enter in and claim this house! We have long coveted this mystical spot. Now, while the others are distracted we can claim it as our own!”
“What about that ghost? They say a powerful spirit protects this place.”
“True, but some here have dark magic that could entrap her.” Count Craladu reassured them. “Those that can enter shall, then they will bring the hunchback to me. I will entrance him to allow the rest of us to enter. Then as each hero returns we will either turn or kill them. It is a simple plan.”
Count Dracu’s voice rose as he shouted, “Well then my brethren! Let us attack! CARPE NOCTEM!”
As one the creatures charged the mansion. Count Dracu and Count Craladu watched with excitement.
“Carpe Noctem? Really old man, this night belongs to more then just you. I know I do not wish it seized. Do you my brother?” Annabelle Forsight asked as she stood behind the Vampire Lords.
“I don’t believe I do my sister.” Roland pulled out his sword. Despite the fact that it was a relic of his time with the vampirates three hundred years ago it was still in top shape.
“What? Children? HAHAHAHAHA!” Count Craladu laughed a dark laugh. “The Order of Righteous Vampires only sends children to protect the mortals these days?”
Annabelle’s eyes twinkled, “Look again old timer.”



Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part #11, Things Keep Spinning!







Both men could not help but turn their heads at the sounds.
Zombies were catching on fire as Nitz the Bloody shouted “Burneku!” Dead Boy was dodging clumsy attacks from other zombies while knocking off his attackers heads. The most amazing sight was the large flock of bats that swarmed down on the attacking vampires, werewolves and gremlins. The vampires saw other figures in the throng of battle but with so much movement and smoke it was hard to discern who.
Dracu turned on the children while Count Craladu tore off to join the battle. “So the Order has indeed arrived then. I see you have brought alleys from across the mystical stronghold of the city as well.”
“No reason you should gather your forces and we don’t so the same. So are you going to give up?”
“FOOLISH BRAT! I should have killed you centuries ago!” Dracu lunged at speeds beyond normal but both kids dodged him with just as much speed.

On the roof of the mansion, Pumpkin Jack laughed while he played Danse Macabre on his fiddle made of bone.

Across the small field of land before the mansion there is a dark and wonderful sight. Two armies of creatures do battle.
“ARRROOOO! This is JUST what I needed!” Tanner the werewolf enthused as he led his fellow Righteous Werebeasts into the evil werewolf horde.

Elizabeth Dracu was knocked to the ground by Wangmundo. The silent troll looked through the fracas for more targets to take out. He generally didn’t help the Order when they called but the moon was full and he just could not concentrate on the book he was reading.

An army Gremlins tried to bring Indiana Gnome down to his knees but he kept his whip flying. “Jeeze there are a lot of these nasty buggers Gunthar!”
The great gargoyle continued to smash more into the ground. “Just keep it up!”

“Stand still brat! ARGH!” Dracu howled in pain as Roland once again slashed him with his silver pirate sword. It helped that the sword was laced in holy water.
“Not on you un-life, you old fossil! I was trained and lived as a vampirate! We don’t sit still!” Roland flipped, flew and spun around the count, slashing with all his might.
“See Dracu, there are advantages to being small.” Annabelle explained as she easily ducked under her foe, came up behind him and slashed the back of his head with her claws.
“Ugh! This is a waste of my time! I must go where I am needed!” he turned into a bat and flew towards the battle. Before the children could do the same a teen age female voice called to them. “One minute younglings! My father may have left but I have just arrived!”
“Beth Dracu, the young vampire who calls herself Bloodlover. I wondered if you had returned to life as well.” Annabelle mused.

As Count Dracu flew over head Khrys Constantine looked up.
“Was that Dracu? I swear this is old home week! Ouch!” Khrys fell to the ground with deep scratches across his face as his attacker prepared to strike again.
Blood Lust’s eyes where radiant, “Face me when you fight me Constantine!”
He wiped blood off his cheek as he said to her, “I thought that mortal Messenger killed you?”
“He did. For some reason I’m back and after we claim the mansion I’m going to find him and return the favor!”
Before she could strike him further she was ran through with a piece of wood.
“Don’t touch my boy you little tramp!” Mhaire "Bloody Mary" Mac Consaidin warned.

Beth Dracu fell to the ground with a thump. The children simply smiled to each other.
“Well Annabelle lets go after Dracu. I don’t like leaving him loose.”
“Maybe I should check on Jackie Rabbit first Roland. He might take this chance to get to her. The time is almost here and she’ll be…”
“Sister you’re worrying too much again. She’ll be fine. Remember we asked father to watch her tonight.”
A strange glow bathed Annabelle, causing her to shut her eyes in pain.
“What in the name of the night is that?” she asked.
Humdinger appeared and at that moment Annabelle realized the battle had frozen. “Humdinger what’s this all about? Have to come to help us?”
“No Annabelle Forsight I have not. I have come because I have need of you.”
“Now? Surly this can wait.”
“No it cannot. While this battle is mighty, there are others with your abilities who could finish things here. Where I need you that is not the case. Come.”
With that Annabelle was gone and her brother was very confused.

The dark wizards swayed in their matching robes. Eldritch magic sparkled from their finger tips. Soon the spell would be complete and the mansion would be open to them.
“Are you guys for real?” Whitney Darkness asked. “I mean all that swaying and waving your arms must make you tired.”
The leader spun around to face Whitney, “Do not taunt us witch! We have prepared spells for each of you Legionaries!”
Whitney yawned as Roland flew by in his tiny vampire bat form. “Hey Ms. Darkness, do you need help?”
“With these guys? No thank you Roland. I’m fine.” A casual wave of her wand and each wizard dropped to the ground unconscious.
KA-POW! KA-POW!
YEEEEHAWW!
Whitney spun around to see the attacking werewolves behind her. Each one was getting blow away with silver bullets laced in holy water.
Sunset Sal was laughing and whooping as she sped around the attacking werewolf pack. Her six-shooters moved so fast it was no wonder she was labeled the TRUE fasted gun in the Old West. With her vampire reflexes and speed, not a single werewolf could get close.
“Ya looney varmits! Ya think ya can sneak up on th’ Sorceress here? Well ya thought wrong!” she was performing all sorts of fancy shooting maneuvers now, with her hand between her legs or behind her. She even flew into the air, spun and then landed in the midst of them, firing away like thunder. “YEEEEEEHAAWW!”
After her display of gun play was finished the entire pack lay on the ground, transformed and dead.
Whitney walked up to her, “Have fun?”
Sal tipped her hat ever so slightly. “Ya know it girl. It’s been awhile since I let loose like the old days.”
“Wouldn’t have been simpler to just mesmerize them? I mean you’re a vampire and werewolves always fall under vampires’ powers. Right?”
“Sure enough. But I wuz never all that good at mesmerizing. Besides, why do that when my guns are so much more fun?” she blew the smoke from her pistol.

At the front doors of the mansion stood Count Craladu and Count Dracu. Flapjack, the hunchback major domo of the mansion stood in the doorframe mesmerized.
“Let us inside mortal! We claim this house by the right of the Vampire Lords. You will invite us in.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” It was the voice of a young girl.
They turned to see Izzy Shapearo leaning up against the outside of the building. She was as transparent and ethereal as ever.
“Who?”
“My name’s Izzy. Trust me on this. Just turn around and flutter home. It’s much safer that way.”
Dracu moved back a fraction and eyed the girl. Craladu however, was not impressed. “You think you can challenge us little girl? You think a simple ghost like you can even hope to prevent two vampire lords from entering this house?”
She looked at her nails, showing no interest in the would be intruders and replied with a smirk, “No. I came to watch my friend work.”
Dracu quickly looked towards the open door of the mansion then changed into a bat. He flew off even as the pompous Craladu asked, “Who?”
Marie Murcheson, the banshee who haunts the Lair Mansion, appeared from nowhere directly in front of Flapjack. Count Craladu did not even have time to think as she screamed at a high pitch. His ashes blew out into the night wind.
Izzy and Marie gave each other a high five.

On the harbor sat a large rocket launcher. Several men were making the finishing touches, preparing it to be fired at Lair Island.
Desmond Djinn watched the island with his binoculars and allowed himself a smirk. “With one shot and so many on my list will be gone.”
The ground became the sky, the sky became the ground. The world seemed to morph into itself and Djinn’s men all threw up all over themselves. They were out cold before they had hit the floor.
“STOP IT! I’LL KILL YOU!” Djinn had heard him self shout as the strange dark figure stepped out of the shadows.
“You have done enough Desmond Djinn. It is time for you to sleep.”
“NO! I CAN RESIST YOUR MAGIC!”
“You cannot resist someone whom you your self give power to.”
“LEAVE THEM BE MONSTER!” a man jumped from his hiding place and attacked the shadowy figure.
The figure simply tossed the man into a wall, knocking him unconscious. “Van Harrisling, the Victorian era Ham-Boy. I was wondering when you were going to emerge from the shadows. Apparently I am misunderstood. The lot of you think I am a mere demon, bent on evil ways.”
“No…” Desmond Djinn was still trying to resist the figure’s power, “You are… wrong! I wont allow a monster like you to live! Your stupid parlor tricks wont work on me! This skin I wear prevents any magic from… from…”
“I draw my power from all that is mystical. From Big Foot to the Loch Ness Monster, from those on the island to the mansion itself, from every spirit to every mystical portal. Yes, even from your djinn skin. Now sleep for a week Desmond Djinn. Sleep. You can not hope to prevent me, for I stand outside of everything. I do not come to the world of men to unleash chaos but to perform good. You, Djinn, are the one who is the monster here. Accept my word. I know things. This is why I am called… the Unknown.”





On board the Lurker’s ship Access, Soothsayer and Greg Dean watch the many screens that show the heroes of the Parodyverse and Satireverse engaged in many life saving activities.
On the center screen we see Humdinger talking to Jack Rabbit while in the back ground stand the Violent Vibrator, Captain Republican, Niobe and Suicide Bumblebee.
“She’s almost finished getting them together.” Greg commented.
“Are you sure we need to do this?” worried Soothsayer. “I’ve heard of Dark Thugos. He’s not very nice or supportive.”
“I know Soothsayer but it’s for the best. Thugos is gone from there now. He’s already said he wouldn’t help but that doesn’t matter. If the JBH could travel to Apuffylips and get the aid of his followers then maybe we could stand a chance against the Cowled Criminal.” Access explained.

A shimmering effect lit up the room. As soon as the effect faded Justin Tyme stood there, confused. “What? The Lurker’s ship? But the last thing I saw was the Archer fighting these Giant Humanoid Robots. They all died! The…” Justin trailed off as he noticed two view screens. On one he could see Archer, Hatman, Amazing Gal and Sorceress. On the other he saw Baron Zemo and his Monster Army.
Greg Dean explained, “The strange nature of the Neververse sent you to a possible alternate future Justin. We used the machines here to tune into your timer to bring you here.”
“But those heroes, that world! History recorded nothing about that! How can it be?”
There are time pockets everywhere. Don’t get too stressed about futures you don’t know. The main thing is to focus on what we do know.”
“Access is right. There is a mission we have for you and some others.”
Justin was still confused. “Wait. Before I was stuck popping through time within a matter of minutes I was in the year 3205 AD. For awhile it resembled a future where the Earth was conquered by some alien race and the Guild of the Galactic were all that resisted them. Then everything changed and it was the same year but the Lair Legion of Super Heroes were the main galactic heroes and Earth was part of a united collection of planets. It had never been conquered. That makes no since. Two versions of the same year?”
“That’s true for the future, the past and the present as well Justin.” Access added to his confusion.
Justin scratched his head, “How can there be more then one past, present or future? What is real?”
Access simply said “Only the Lurker knew for sure but from what he told me they all were.”
A Multiversal energy bubble appears and Amazing Guy steps out of it. “I got your call Access. What’s up?”
“We’ll explain as soon as she arrives.” Greg said.
As if on cue a brilliant light filled the room. As it dissipated they could see Humdinger standing beside Trickshot, Jack Rabbit and Annabelle Forsight.
Annabelle was trying to clear her eyes from the temporary blindness she got from the light.
“Hey AG! Guess we’re on a mission for these guys. They got you too huh?” Jack asked.
“Alright babe enough.” Tricky rounded on Humdinger, “I’m not going one more step until you tell me what is going on with my home Earth! I’m sick of having my chain yanked! What the ^&*% is going on?”
“He’s rather insensitive.” Annabelle commented to Jack.
“Yeah but we love him.”
“Look Trickshot,” Access said, “I was there recently. I’ll show you with these monitors what’s going on there.”
They could see clearly that the Lair Legion of that world, composed of Hatman, Nats, Dancer, Wangmundo, Elemental Man (a.k.a. Michael Wooster) and Amazing Guy (Tom Irving) were helping the people of their version of Parodopolis.
Besides the strange skies, Earth Tricky seemed normal.
“Huh. So it’s ok?” Trickshot asked.
Humdinger replied, “For now. We will bring them into the Neververse as soon as we can. Right now however there is a quick mission for you five.”
The screen showed the burning, destitute planet Apuffylips. It’s gigantic fire pits could be seen smoldering from space.
“Apuffylips! Uh oh.” Amazing Guy replied after viewing the planet.
“What? Thugos is at it again?” Tricky asked.
“And you picked US? I don’t know the guy with the TV remote or the little spooky kid but shouldn’t you have picked Mr. Epitome, Finny, Yo, Hatman?” Jack Rabbit complained.
“Hey! I’m not small potatoes! I can take ‘em!” Tricky shot back.
“We’re doomed!”
“Stuff it rabbit boy! Just ‘cuase we’re friends doesn’t mean I wont belt ya one!”
AG got in the middle, “Guys hold it! This isn’t the time.”
“This is a waste of my time Humdinger. With all due respect, there are others much more qualified to travel the space ways. Let me return to the service I can provide elsewhere.” Annabelle’s eerie voice sent chills through the other’s spines.
“All of you are needed. The task at hand is a simple one. Residing on Apuffylips are several whom could be convinced to join our cause.”
As Humdinger explained their mission the screen changed to show Splendiferous Stuart, Grendlarg, Torkamahda, Kwatrain and Steppenstoat.
“These are Dark Thugos’ most trusted agents. While he has been absent fulfilling his role as the Destroyer of Tales, these here have been performing little skirmishes against each other. We need you five to go in and unify them.”
“She doesn’t expect much, does she?” Jack mumbled to Tricky. He grinned.
Access and I will explain better when we get there.”
Annabelle raised her hand.
“Yes?”
“There is someone I’m… protecting back in Parodopolis. I need to be available for.. this person in two night’s time. Will be be back by then?”
“You should be back tonight. We can take you there and back and the mission will only take a few hours.”
“Thank you.”
“Well then let us be off.” Humdinger concluded and in a flash of light she, Access, Amazing Guy, Trickshot, Jack Rabbit, Justin Tyme and Annabelle were gone.



The next day, after the heroes have returned to their separate tasks, the city of Parodopolis became very windy.
A storm came up from nowhere, uprooting trees, overturning cars and causing all sorts of mayhem for an already confused town. Time was still messed up in the merging cities of Parodopolis and Satireopolis. It was all the heroes could do to keep the confused populace from panic.
The terrible storm made it all the more worse. The way the strange storm cloud looked reminded many of the strange purple skies before the Plaid Wall had come. This brought more fear to the people of the cities.

Victory, Spectrum Spectre, the Bateleur, Inter-Planet Janet, Kenora and the Saint all rush pedestrians to safety.
Hyperlyna Stevens lifted up a falling building while the self styled Speedstreak II rushed the trapped people inside to safer locations.
As Mr. Amazing used his Power Bracelet to carry a group of people away from a storm ravaged building he spied his children, Todd and Jamie Allen, as they used their mutate abilities of light and darkness to aid more people. The sight made him feel proud.

Jack and Jackie Rabbit, along with Phantom Ghost Girl, had just finished carrying several frightened children to a safer location.
“So Jack, what’s up with this New JBH?” Jackie asked as she checked a little girl’s wound. “I mean I wouldn’t care if Justin or that vampire kid joined but there is NO way I would want Trickshot back on the team.”
“No need to worry sis. It was just for that mission. Does this mean you’re back on the team?”
“Now hold on. I never said that. With you back in the rabbit suit there really is no reason for two rabbit heroes.”
“There is plenty of reasons sis!” Jack noticed his sister became all ridged. “What is it?”
“Over there! That tree is starting to fall and Visionary doesn’t see it!”
With the proportionate abilities of a bunny, Jackie leaped into the air, bounced twice then plowed into Visionary.
The possible fake man did not know what hit him as they rolled a ways before finally stopping on the ground.
Visionary lied there looking up at her. She was straddling him, looking down. Her cheeks started to redden.
“Hi! Ah… is there a reason you’re on top of me?”
“Oh! Sorry!” She got up, all the more embarrassed, and offered him a hand to lift him up. Her brother and best friend approached.
“Are you alright?” she sheepishly asked him.
Vish dusted off his yellow trench coat. “Yeah, I’m ok. Thank you for saving me. I didn’t see that tree.”
“Well we all do our thing.”
“I’d better see how the others are doing. Bye.”
“Bye.” As she watched him walk away Tonya (Phantom Ghost Girl) said with a smirk, “You like him! You have a crush on Visionary!”
“I do not!”
Jack laughed.
“What?” she spun on her brother.
“You STILL have that crush?” he turned to Tonya, “As a teen she had posters of him all over her wall. She always had it bad for him.”
Tonya was shocked, “How come this is the first I’ve ever heard of this?”
“I… well I didn’t want to be made fun of.”
“Hey Jackie!”
She turned around to see Hatman along with Artimies (Charlotte Ouk), Prizefighter, Star-Spangled Weed boy, Arachnid, Clockwork Craftsman, Helm Man, Ziles, Natstar, Crimson Bolt, Lightning-Hatress, SuperFalc and GlitchedGadgetRiotgrrlRobot!
When Jack saw the mixed collection of heroes he became silent. Jackie however asked, “What is it Jay?”
“I’m taking my patrol to the East Side of town. You told me earlier that you wanted to join one of my patrols and I wanted to know if you wanted to join us?”
“Sure! Bye guys!” she sprung into the group of heroes as they moved eastward.
Jack watched them go and thought to himself, “Something’s familiar about that particular grouping. Hatman, some of Tonya’s future team, a knight in armor on a horse, a few random other heroes… I saw them with Jackie… GREAT TASTY CARROTS! That strange dream! The sky! The weather! That weird group with Jackie then… No. I’ve got to calm down. It was different somehow. Some of the faces were different.”
“Earth to Jack. Come in Jack.” Phantom Ghost Girl was waving her hand in front of Jack’s eyes.
“Huh? Oh! Sorry Tonya. I need to go. I’ll see you later.” Jack bounded after Hatman’s patrol.

WWWWWWWWWWHHHHUUUUUUUUUUU

The storm became even fiercer as heroes from all ages were trying to get civilians from every era to safety.
As Mr. Epitome held up a hospital wall he shouted towards the many heroes around him, “Can someone get up there and see what’s causing this?”
“Some are up there right now!” Goldeneyed replied. In the background the Surgeon General (Doctor Garret Gale) and the Hemophiliac (Joshua Lancaster) were helping various wounded who could not be moved.

WWWWWWWWWWHHHHUUUUUUUUUUU

Close to the eye of the storm flew Nats, NTU-150, Kala Huni, Angelheart, War-350, Jet Starscream, NTU-173, Hatman II and Pegistar.
“It’s worse then we thought!” Nats called into his com-card. “My patrol cant even get in close!”

On the ground several heroes looked up. WolfWolf grabbed his ears while Some Kind of Wonderful and the PyramidProdigyAcolyteArchitect! Looked up.
“What’s causing that awful noise?” WolfWolf asked.

“There’s something alive up there!” Saturn-Ziles said while Ultra Thunder Boy kept her from getting blown away in the wind. “It’s called the Force o’ Wind. It’s in such pain!”
“Someone take it out… NOW!” commanded Mr. Epitome.
Jack Rabbit is helping another lady in Victorian clothes to the ground. She was trapped in a tree.
“Thank you sir!” Lady Alicia Redmayne replied.
“Wait! Where’s my sister?” Jack asked to no one in particular as he traveled through the tree with Lady Redmayne.
“AAAAAA! My baby!” screamed a woman.
Jack knew he couldn’t get out of the dangerously swaying tree in time to help the woman’s child.
Hatman’s quadrant patrol had just arrived on the scene.
Jackie saw the woman’s plight. The woman’s little three-year-old girl is about to be squashed by a falling building.
Jackie bounced over the stegosaurs that the modern Cobra and 40’s Cobra was fighting and headed right for the girl. She pushed the girl out of the way but then there was a crash.
Through all the dust Jack could not see if his sister got out too.
“NO! JUST LIKE THOSE DREAMS!” Jack yelled but he could not get there fast enough.
By the time Jack made it over to the rubble, UltraThunderBoy had lifted the debris. SaturnZiles nodded her head silently to Jack.
Jack’s heart froze when he heard his sister’s voice, “Jack! Dad’s hurt, bad!”

Together four magic using heroes chanted while the fierce wind blew at them. The yellow helmeted Dr. Mystery, young Johnny Yoyo’s magical genie, the White Sorceress and the older Hagatha Darkness all focused on the strange Force O’ Wind.
A strange blast of eldritch energy and a sickening pop sound was all it took.
Something crashed hard onto the street.
When Fast Service arrived he noted aloud what he saw.
“It’s some kid I’ve never seen before.”
Twisted Organ lied there sprawled out in a pool of his own blood. He was dead.
“Who gives a &*^%?” Messenger asked. “Did the girl get saved?”

The cloud of dust that the falling wall brought up had finally dissipated.
The older version of Wild Hare lied on the ground. He was bleeding really bad.
“Dad? Don’t try to move dad!” Jack said as he bent down.
A younger version of Wild Hare just stared at the scene, standing behind Jack, “That’s me? No! I gotta live!” he said.
The Patriot and Postcard grabbed the hero and led him away, “It’s ok Ted. That’s probably just an alternate version of you from the Satireverse Earth.”
They did not believe a word they were saying. Neither did Wild Hare.
“No. NO! That’s me! Don’t think I don’t know myself? That’s me! After the war! That was me as an old man!” the younger Wild Hare shoved his fellow All Stars and ran. Some heroes took after him.
While this was going on a tearful Jack and Jackie watched the father they barely knew get weaker.
“What… about the girl… I was saving?” Ted Roberts asked as he coughed up blood.
“Dad don’t talk. I saved her. Just rest.” Jackie talked through her tears.
“Ja..Jack..”
“Please don’t try to talk dad. We don’t know the extent of you’re injuries.” Jackie replied.
“No… COUGH COUGH! I gotta say this. I’ve known you two all your… COUGH lives. I… COUGH COUGH… I’m very…COUGH COUGH COUGH!”
“Dad please…” Jack cried.
“I’m proud of…” his eyes started to glaze over, “…you.”
Ted Roberts died in the street while Jackie and Jack both broke down and cried. Their real father, whom they had just met only three months ago, was gone.

Hat Trick caught the younger version by surprise with an upper cut to the jaw. Wild Hare is a boxing champ back in the 1930s but he was so distraught at seeing himself get hurt he wasn’t paying attention.
“He’s out cold so you’d better act fast.” he told Ziles.
“Are you sure this is ethical?” Roboti, Ziles robot servant, asked her.
“It’s the only way Roboti.” She responded as she mind wiped the younger Wild Hare of his last hour of memories.

Jackie Roberts sat alone on a rooftop and looked out at the mixed up time period Parodopolis.
“This is the second time I’ve made a commitment on a roof top. The last time was when I had decided to take over for my brother and become Jackie Rabbit. I thought my brother was dead then. Now I know my father is dead. After all this time I guess I forgot what this bunny suit means.”
She stood up and raised her fist as tears flowed freely from her cheeks.
“I won’t forget anymore dad! I will remain Jackie Rabbit! I will continue to make you proud!”

Jack Roberts was on another roof, watching his sister and talking to himself.
“It came true. The first part of the dream came true. Does that mean the other part will? Is Jackie going to die?”

In an alley beside the roof Jackie stands on there are two heroes, Visionary 5 and his teammate, SaturnZiles.
He’s standing behind her.
“So why did you want to come into this alley Vishy?”
Her green skinned teammate quickly placed a strange headband on her head. It shot forth energy straight into her telepathic brain.
“Ugh!” she moaned as she stumbled backward.
“I regret that I had to do this Ima but I had no other choice. I know what history recorded. I know her fate. I just need to know if she cares for me at all. History recorded that she had a secret crush on a yellow and green wearing hero and we did serve in the JBH together. I just have to know.”
“Ugh!” Ima Arlee, the Lair Legion of Super Heroes member moaned again.
“After we are done this device will submerge the memory that we had this little meeting. This device will transform your telepathy to empathy for this one use. It will also allow you to be susceptible to my commands. Ima, tell me now, who does Jackie care deeply for?”
“Jasper Stevens.”
“What? Who? No. NO! I asked it wrong. I know she cares for her teammate, Kid Produce, but who does she love? She loves a hero who wears green and yellow. Who is it?”
“No. Her feelings inside are mixed. She feels deep infatuation for a different hero but she loves Jasper Stevens with a deeper love. He is her true hearts desire.”
“NO! Damn. I’ll have to think on that. But who is this hero she is infatuated with? Maybe there is still hope.”
“Visionary.”
Visionary 5 waited a moment but when no number followed the name he demanded, “That’s it? You mean me, right?”
“No. I mean the supposed fake man of the 21st century. I mean Visionary.”
“NO! It cant be! I’ve got to think about this. She doesn’t love me.”
“Uggggh! The pain!”
“One more question. What are her exact feelings for me?”
“You are just a friend. Nothing more. In fact your arrogant attitude turns her off. She finds it hard to like you at all.”
“NOOOOOOOO!”




Twisted Organ was not very well known. Most never heard of him so his passing was not a big deal.
Precious few had worked with him but those that did spread the news.
Some, like Dancer, Goldeneyed and Amazing Guy, knew he was working for the Cowled Criminal. After word of his affiliation spread the many heroes of two worlds quickly reached their decision.

They were scattered across the globe on two worlds but each one used the communication devices Humdinger gave them.
Amazing Guy used his while Kid Produce stood beside him, “Count the JBH in.”

Jet Starscream, while Nite-Owl brooded behind him, “The Wonderful Seven will be there.”

Lesbian Liberator held her device up while Tubby Tachyon watched, “Globetrotting Gangbusters will come when called.”

Ordnance and Resound stood on a rooftop as Ordnance said into his device, “You can’t keep the Maverix away.”

L’il Buttie joined in while Boy Wonder stood with him, “That goes for the New Battlers as well.”

“If those losers are in, so are the Juniors!” Kerry Shepherdson said with her usual venom. Visionary took the device from her hand, “No you’re not! But I suppose the League of Regulars will be there.”

A saddened Pigeonman joined in while an equally saddened CrazySugarBlast-OffLad! looked on. These retired heroes were good friends with Wild Hare. “After what the Cowled Criminal did to Ted Roberts and my wife, you couldn’t keep the Lair Society of Justice away.”

Liberty Lis added while Quickstreak nodded in agreement, “The same goes for the All Star Winners’ Squadron.”

Colonel Blanchford Bertram looked at his device queerly but agreed with Dr Hakenfakir standing beside him, “The League of Improbable Gentlemen will lend a hand when you need us as well.”

Samantha Featherstone then joined in, “Our Lair Legion will be there.” HyperActiveLunaticMiss! bounced with excitement.

“So will Prodigy. At least what’s left of it.” Hat Trick (Stacey Boaz) said into her device while Slingshot thought of revenge.

Vob Ontari spoke into his while Enty simply stood at his side, “The Lake of the Woods Lair Legion will help too.”

“Count the Evolutionary Revolutionaries in as well.” Vision Quest said while Brainwasher stood in agreement.

“I won’t have anything to do with a group involving so many mongrels and those with less then worthy blood!” Aryan Ideal spoke into the device he had stolen from someone earlier. The Falcon knocked him out and stole back the device, “Ignore him.”

Vince Cosmo continued the chain while the large Fred 22 broadly smiled, “The Guild of the Galactic will be there.”

“So will the Lair Legion of Super Heroes.” Lightning-Hat agreed. Amazingly Cosmic Boy looked on.

Professor Weed Writchards added, “The Four Challengers of the Fantastic Unknown will lend their assistance.” His wife Kate Frost Writchards squeezed his hand.

Cap then said in his device, “Count the Abandoned Legion in.” Hunter Victorious smiled.

Sir Mumphrey Wilton then took his turn with Lisa watching, “You know the Lair Legion will be there, what?”

Humdinger, Access, Greg Dean and Soothsayer all silently smiled to each other. There just might be a chance after all.





To be continued as five Earths are in deep trouble. Can ten heroes from two Earths do anything about it? Find out next time!
I’m taking a two-month break from PV writing. I’ll still be reading, replying and posting but I need to work on the novel for a bit. When I get back it will be with JBH #18 and then Crisis #12 (Not the conclusion).




Lost In Your Footnotes…



WHERE OH WHERE DID MY JUSTIN GO NOTE:
Once again, to see where Justin went read Justin Tyme: Weeks of Yesterday's Tomorrow by L!





WHAT HAPPENED ON APUFFYLIPS NOTE:
Check out JBH #18 to see the mission of what I call my icons; AG, Tricky, Justin, Jack and Annabelle. It’s coming next (when I can).


JACKIE LEFT THE JBH NOTE:
Jackie had decided to leave the JBH and retire in JBH # 16





I’VE SEEN THIS SCENE SOMEWHERE BEFORE NOTE:
Did the scene with the death of Wild Hair seem familiar to you? If so you’ve either been reading my archived stories or you remember them. Jack dreamt this very scene two times before.

This is the first one. Jack Rabbit, Adventurer #8, posted sometime in 2000. I reposted it in May of 2001 (that’s the one on my site) Here.



The next time was during his sojourn in space, as seen in Jack Rabbit, Adventurer #16 from March 28, 2004
here.


As you can see, I’ve been waiting to do this scene for a loooong time! I’m free! FREE!

By the way, Jackie first made her vow to become a super hero and take after her (thought dead) brother in Jack Rabbit # 5, The Rabbit's Dead, Dear, back in the 24th of May, 2000 here.










This story is written and copyrighted (C) 2004 by Scott Bryan (also known as AG), and may not be
reprinted without permission. Annabelle, Roland, Anthony Foresight, vampirates, Sunset Sal, Amazing Guy, Justin Time, Jack Rabbit, Jackie Rabbit, Desert Rose, Eli the Elemental, Kid Produce, Scott Brunsen, Tom Irving, the JBH and the Amazing Bunch all are properties of Scott Bryan and AG.







a.g.
Amazing Guy






Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!), Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!), and JLA Micros (The entire JLA, as micro heroes!)




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